Random Designs from a Science Student

And now both Steven and Mark are in the Guardian live chat, and oh God they're hilarious

Steven Moffat: Hello

Mark Gatiss: You! The second most dangerous man in London!

Steven Moffat: You! Previously unknown to science!!

Guest: If you could pick one thing that is your favorite about writing an episode, what would it be?

Steven Moffat: My fave thing about writing is FINISHING. That's really nice. I LOVE that.

Mark Gatiss: There's nothing nice about writing.

Guest: Which one of you would be Sherlock and who would be John?

Steven Moffat: We're both Watson. Nothing happens very fast .....

Mark Gatiss: Although I'm the only one who grows a moustache.

Guest: Does it surprise you with how popular Mycroft is by some of the fans?

Mark Gatiss: Mycroft's popularity doesn't surprise me at all. He is, after all, incredibly beautiful, clever and well-dressed. And beautiful. Did I mention that?

Steven Moffat: It's just a shame Mark is ugly and badly dressed.

Guest: I've heard a theory on how Sherlock faked his death involving anti-gravity, a cat, and buttered toast. Shall we expect the solution to be any more plausible?

Steven Moffat: No.

Guest: I have a theory on how Sherlock faked his death regarding the packets of crisps still in his pockets. Plausible?

Steven Moffat: Yes, that's it, you've got it.

Mark Gatiss: Entirely plausible. Were they 'Wotsits'?

Mark Gatiss: Could crisps cushion his fall?

Guest: Will John ever get married? Or is he married to his work/Sherlock now?

Mark Gatiss: John is married to his wok. he's a big fan of Chinese food.

Guest: Have you guys ever thought about having John and Molly date?

Steven Moffat: I'm not sure Molly is able to retain John in her memory any time she breaks eye contact with him. Like the Silence in Doctor Who

Guest: I'm a little confused about the timeline of series 2. Does Hound take place during Scandal? They both seem to be set around christmas time.

Steven Moffat: Well I'd be interested in the time line theories, that's an old standby of Sherlock Holmes fans. We assumed they happened sequentially, but what do we know?

Guest: Something I've been dying to know, what was in the present (in Scandal), that Molly bought Sherlock for Christmas? I bet he'd be difficult to buy for!

Steven Moffat: No idea what Molly bought. Did Sherlock ever open it, that's the question.... Ohhh!!!

Mark Gatiss: Molly's present? A tantalus, perhaps?

Steven Moffat: Cocaine!!

Mark Gatiss: (after in pause in questions flow) Starving. Has everyone had their tea?

Guest: If you could ask sir Arthur Conan Doyle one question, what would it be?

Mark Gatiss: How come you're so bloody brilliant? I asked him one last night through a medium, actually. His answer was "Six and three eighths".

Guest: What do you think of the Believe In Sherlock campaign the fans started back in January?

Steven Moffat: Best viral marketing campaign ever. And beyond thrilling for us.

Guest: How long does it typically take you guys to write and film an episode?

Mark Gatiss: A hundred years.

Steven Moffat: On a good day.

Guest: How do you decide who writes each episode?

Mark Gatiss: We fall into a brown study, consume ten ounces of ship's tobacco and, when the fug clears, we know who's doing what.

Mark Gatiss: Oh and there's wine.

Steven Moffat: Do you have wine there? I don't have any wine.

Mark Gatiss: No wine. no. I'm having bacon and eggs in a minute, though.

Steven Moffat: I've been trying to make toast. Crumbs all over the computer.

Guest: Do you have anything you'd like to say to your fans in the United States?

Steven Moffat: Please watch our shows. And buy the DVDs.

Guest: Do you have another theme in mind like this season: Love, Fear & Death?

Mark Gatiss: Yes. Tea, Milk and Sugar.

Mark Gatiss: Love, Fear & Death are very big. We have to top that. Sloth, Pain & Eczema?

Guest: How many trench coats are used in the average Sherlock episode?

Steven Moffat: There is no average Sherlock episode. The very idea!

Guest: The blood in the show is so realistic! Mind sharing the recipe?

Steven Moffat: Hit people.

Mark Gatiss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhuR1VMkpXM

Ruth Spencer: We've had thousands of readers and comments today - thank you so much for joining us! Any final thoughts before we go?

Mark Gatiss: Yes. As a nice surprise for our US fans, I can exclusively reveal that Sherlock faked his death by

Mark Gatiss: Oh God! We're out of time!

Steven Moffat: Very exciting to hear from Sherlock fans. I suppose we now have to buckle down and make some more. Or just make some toast. I'd really like some toast.

Steven Moffat: And yes, please vote for us in the YouTube thing. Cos if we lose we'll be too upset to make any more. And I'll axe Doctor Who as well. And shoot Santa Claus and some puppies.

THE AVENGERS SUMMARY: PART 1

Nick Fury: We have this unstable thing called the Baccarat or whatever and you can tell it has unlimited energy because it GLOWS

Loki: Hey guys I'm back did you miss me

Hawkeye: I did a little

Loki: K let's see what this spear or whatever does

Spear or whatever: BAZAM MOTHERFUCKERS

Loki: Right I'll be taking your Baccarat your scientist guy and your sexiest agent

Nick Fury: Hey so we need to do that Avenger thing now

Agent Coulson: That might take a really long time

Nick Fury: Whatever do it in montage

Bruce Banner: I'm the cuddliest version of the Hulk

Capt. Amuricur: Check out my sweet ass

Black Widow: Check out my boobs they're the only one's you'll see in this movie

Iron Man: When I made that suit I had no idea it would eventually be a cockblock

Hawkeye: I'm evil rn bbl

Thor: I'm in Asgard atm

Agent Coulson: Hey Captain so I may have caressed you while you were chillin' in a chunk of ice also I designed a costume for you do you want to be friends can I take a picture with you can I touch your abs seriously just lift your shirt for a second so I can touch them

Loki: I don't always dress like a human to be inconspicuous but when I do I immediately attack a German official in the middle of a party

Capt. Amuricur: We interrupt this program to bring you AMERICA

Iron Man: Sup Captain

Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAY

LATER, IN A PLANE

Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug

Loki: Thor technically brohug doesn't apply because we're not even related

Thor: You'll always be my brother, Loki-chan. Now allow me to look deep into your eyes and invade your intimate personal space with my beard

Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAY

Iron Man: IRON GLOMP

Thor: You wanna go motherfucker let's break the forest

Smokey the Bear: But Thor only you can prevent forest fires

Capt. Amuricur: GUYS STAWP IT

Loki: Eatspopcorn.gif

BACK AT THE FLOATING CASTLE LEGION OF DOOM

Bruce Banner: Sup

Iron Man: Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe

Everyone: Shit now what the fuck do we ship

AFTER MUCH BANTER

Capt. Amuricur: What the fuck you're making nukes you nuke-makers

Bruce Banner: I am slightly ticked off

Iron Man: I think you should hulk out

Capt. Amuricur: Shut up tony or I'll invade your personal space

Iron Man: Not if I invade yours first

Capt. Amuricur: I am gonna fight you so hard later

Iron Man: You smell like justice

Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAAY

Hawkeye: Still evil here

EXPLOSIONS OCCUR

Bruce Banner: It's not easy being green

Loki: I am escaping from my cage now

Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug oh shit

Iron Man: Fixing things with science

Capt. Amuricur: Assisting with ab-power

Hawkeye: Fucking shit up with Arrows

Agent Coulson: Hey I'm about to be badass I hope Loki doesn't take me from behind teehee oh shit

Loki: I take people no other way

Loki: Lates Onee-san

Nick Fury: No Agent you can't die I don't know how to fill out paperwork

Agent Coulson: Tell Captain America.... I wrote.... twilight fanfiction.... about us.... shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Nick Fury:

Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Nick Fury:

Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

Everyone: He was a good man. He was a good agent. And The Avengers couldn't have existed without his sacrifice.

Everyone: Also GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

on the topic of la jolla real estate

shilin: i bet your apartment costs this much

erina: nah I don't have an ocean view

erina: so it's probably under 500k

shilin: LOL

shilin: views

shilin: SO IMPORTANT

erina: YEA

erina: I WOULD PAY

erina: if I was $$$$$$$$$$

shilin: I WOULDN'T ):

erina: I mean where else would you give the money?

erina: african children?

shilin: STUFF I CAN USE

erina: or ocean view?

shilin: LOL AFRICAN CHILDREN

shilin: ok i could use a few african children

shilin: in my home

erina: LOLODLSGFDGLOL

erina: A++ interpretation

erina: we're all going to hell

Hi